这位老师真多情
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 168pt; mso-char-indent-count: 16.0"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT size=5><STRONG>这位老师真多情</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p><FONT size=3> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT size=4>宋朝时候,某员外有个才貌双全待嫁的小姐和一个年幼的儿子。为了让儿子读书上进,便请了一位家庭教师。这位教师很爱写对联。</FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT size=4>一日,老师出外游赏,出一上联让学生对:</FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; TEXT-INDENT: 73.5pt; mso-char-indent-count: 7.0; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#e61a42 size=4><STRONG>纸上画龙龙不动;</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT size=4>学生几天寝食不安,无以为对。姐姐闻知,代弟作联云:</FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; TEXT-INDENT: 73.5pt; mso-char-indent-count: 7.0; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#f70938 size=4><STRONG>鬓边插凤凤难飞。</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">老师看后,认为很好。得知是姐姐代笔,便兴致陡增,又出一联曰:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US> </SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ee113d> <STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><STRONG><FONT color=#ee113d>有客登堂,惊醒万里春梦;</FONT></STRONG></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">学生又求姐姐对出下联:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <STRONG><FONT color=#f70938> </FONT></STRONG></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><STRONG><FONT color=#f70938>无人共枕,枉费一片痴心。</FONT></STRONG></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">老师又知是姐姐代笔,更觉联中有意,意中有情,便兴致勃勃地试探对方:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>六尺彩绫,三尺系腰三尺坠;</STRONG></FONT></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US> </SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">(从前结婚需要六尺彩绫,新郎新娘分用)。</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">小姐看后又对到:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US> </SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>一床棉被,半副遮身半副闲。</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">老师一看,心神飘忽,忘乎所以,认为这是在向他暗送秋波倾心钟爱,于是迫不及待地想与小姐会面定情,立即撰到:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>风紧林密,问樵夫何处下手;</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">小姐看后,觉得大有文章,马上回联曰:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>山高水深,劝渔夫及早回头。</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">老师看后,回联解析道:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>竹本无心,节外偏生枝叶;</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">小姐再回下联:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> </SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033 size=4><STRONG>藕虽有窍,心中不染垢尘。</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">老师看后,似懂非懂,疑疑惑惑,痴心妄想,再作试探:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>桃梅李杏,这些花哪时开放?</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">小姐见老师心还未死,生气的答以下联:</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG> </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#ff0033><STRONG>稻麦黍稷,此杂种是何先生!</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">老师看后,才知是自作多情,只好含羞作罢。不久,小姐出嫁。</SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT size=4>一年之后,生了一对双胞胎。满月设宴,请老师作陪。当双胞胎抱出来之后,老师调戏地问小姐:请问哪个是“先生”的;小姐听出老师蓄意调戏,急口答道:“不管哪一个,‘先生’是我儿子,‘后生’也是我儿子。”老师听罢,面红耳赤,狼狈不堪,无地自容,默默退席。</FONT></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><FONT size=4><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"><FONT color=#2222dd><STRONG>自作多情试探情,探情终于落“杂种”。</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 5.25pt; mso-para-margin-left: .5gd"><FONT size=4><FONT color=#2222dd><STRONG><SPAN lang=EN-US><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">“杂种”落定仍取巧,取巧“儿子”又当成。</SPAN></STRONG></FONT></FONT></P> 原文由 秋寒 发表: <STRONG><FONT color=#ee6911 size=5>佩服聪明的小姐<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20084222328388.gif"><BR><BR></FONT></STRONG> 原文由 鹤壁绿叶 发表: 聪明的小姐 <P><FONT size=6> <EM><FONT color=#f70909>老师自作情,小姐聪明赴,</FONT></EM></FONT></P><P><EM><FONT color=#f70909 size=6> 不为人师表,竹篮子打水。</FONT></EM></P> 原文由 秋寒 发表: <STRONG><FONT color=#ee6911 size=5>佩服聪明的小姐<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20084222328388.gif"><BR><BR></FONT></STRONG> <STRONG><FONT color=#ee6911 size=5>佩服聪明的小姐<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20084222328388.gif"><BR><BR></FONT></STRONG> 聪明的小姐 <P><FONT color=#ee1169 size=7><STRONG><EM><U>经典。这位小姐太聪明了。哈哈。</U></EM></STRONG></FONT></P> <P><FONT size=7><BR><OBJECT codeBase=http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=7,0,19,0 height=200 width=200 classid=clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000><PARAM NAME="_cx" VALUE="5292"><PARAM NAME="_cy" VALUE="5292"><PARAM NAME="FlashVars" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="Movie" VALUE="http://"><PARAM NAME="Src" VALUE="http://"><PARAM NAME="WMode" VALUE="Window"><PARAM NAME="Play" VALUE="-1"><PARAM NAME="Loop" VALUE="-1"><PARAM NAME="Quality" VALUE="High"><PARAM NAME="SAlign" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="Menu" VALUE="-1"><PARAM NAME="Base" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="AllowScriptAccess" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="Scale" VALUE="ShowAll"><PARAM NAME="DeviceFont" VALUE="0"><PARAM NAME="EmbedMovie" VALUE="0"><PARAM NAME="BGColor" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="SWRemote" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="MovieData" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="SeamlessTabbing" VALUE="1"><PARAM NAME="Profile" VALUE="0"><PARAM NAME="ProfileAddress" VALUE=""><PARAM NAME="ProfilePort" VALUE="0"><PARAM NAME="AllowNetworking" VALUE="all"><PARAM NAME="AllowFullScreen" VALUE="false"><embed src="http://" quality="high" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="200" height="200"></embed></OBJECT><BR></FONT></P> 原文由 鹤壁绿叶 发表: 聪明的小姐 <FONT size=7> 自作多情,到头来,竹篮打水一场空.</FONT> 自作多情,到头来,竹篮打水一场空.
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