公交车上的极品对白!!我就不相信你不笑
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 26pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 华文新魏">公交车上的极品对白<SPAN lang=EN-US>!!</SPAN>我就不相信你不笑<SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">1</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、要钱</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 一次乘公交车回家，上车后发现钱包里没有一元零钞，一着急，便掏出一张十元大票进投币口。后来越想越觉得窝囊，便跟司机商量，能不能让我守在门口，将下一站乘客本应投进投币口的钱据为己有？司机同意了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 车很快驶到下一站，很多人争着上车。我挡在门口，对第一位乘客说：“把钱给我。”对方一愣：“凭啥？”三言两语也解释不请，我就说：“给我就行了，别的不用管。”对方瞅瞅司机，司机点头默许。于是，一元钱到手。依法炮制，很快收了八个一元钱。接着上来一位大汉，虎背熊腰，剃着板寸，露着刺青。见我拦着他，怒道：“干吗呢</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">?</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">哥们儿？”我说：“一会儿再跟你说，先把钱给我。”对方眼珠子都圆了：“说啥呢？”我说：“把钱给我！”对方张大了嘴，冲司机问：“这小子干吗的？”大汉堵在门口，后面的人上不来，而车厢里的人急着发车，所以大家七嘴八舌地嚷起来了：“啰唆什么呢！快给钱！”大汉很快瘪了下去。只见他从口袋里掏出钱包递过来，哭丧着脸说：“老大，身上就这点钱，你们人多，我服了。”</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">2</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、小偷</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 某君乘公车常掉钱包，一天上车前，某君把厚厚的一叠纸折好放进信封，下车后发现信封被偷。第二天，某君刚上车不久，觉得腰间有一硬物，摸来一看，是昨天的那个信封，信封上写着：请不要开这样的玩笑，影响正常工作，谢谢！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">3</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、下车</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 公交车在等红灯时，一男子叫道：“司机，开一下门，我要下车。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> “这里是站牌吗？”司机怒道。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> “就因为这里不是站牌我才给你说一声——司机无语。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">4</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、座位</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 有一个漂亮小姐，上公交车后从包里拿出纸巾使劲的擦了擦座位，正要坐下时，放了一个屁，旁边的一个先生听到了，打趣地说：小姐真是爱卫生，擦了那么久，还要吹一下！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">5</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、一天看三回</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">那天在车上，一个蛮漂亮的女孩忽然冲一个文质彬彬的白净小伙大骂：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">"</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">流氓！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">"</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">可能是小伙子手脚不老实了。小伙子显得很委屈，立即反驳。双方开始骂架。稍候，听女孩骂道：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">"</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">你是大流氓，从小就是流氓，</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">**</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">生你出来的时候，你都不忘要回头看一眼。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">"</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">满车乘客听了后，先是鸦雀无声了一下，随之发出爆笑。我的同事直摇头说，他头一次见识到骂人可以骂到如此，这真是绝骂，无人能敌了。那个小伙子被骂以后，张着嘴，一句话都说不出来。确实令人感叹这骂真是千古绝骂，大概是前无古人、后无来者了，都说的确没有比这更狠更损的骂人话了。估计那小伙子该收口了。这时突然听那小伙子大声说到：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">"</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">你才是大流氓呢！你还在</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">**</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">肚子里就一天看你爸三回！！！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue">"</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">众人听后，爆笑如山倒，售票员直不起腰，司机休息片刻，才发动起程．</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <IMG src="http://www.china-ws.org/BBS/Htmleditor/teeth_smile.gif"><IMG src="http://www.china-ws.org/BBS/Htmleditor/tounge_smile.gif">
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