颖河居士 发表于 2008-4-28 20:32

[分享]搞笑篇;这年头

<SPAN id=yu><BR><STRONG><U><FONT color=#a0a0a0><FONT size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>这年头,警察接到五条禁令:禁止和美女睡觉兴奋致死!禁止和情人睡觉醉生梦死!禁止和丑女睡觉烦躁致死!禁止<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:PersonName w:st="on" ProductID="和">和</st1:PersonName>小姐睡觉劳累致死!禁止和老婆睡觉整夜装死!</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>这年头,干部素质要求你:心中有小平,袋中有文凭,对上能摆平,对下能铲平,道德没水平,金库能填平,左手拿酒瓶,右手握药瓶,家里有醋瓶,外面有花瓶!</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>这年头,构建和谐社会要注意在自然界不要和天斗,在国际社会不要和美国斗,在路上不要和军车斗,在单位不要和领导斗,在家里不要和老婆斗!</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?> 这年头,听说要去打台湾,一老红军把计献:派三万人马足矣:派一<st1:PersonName w:st="on" ProductID="万">万</st1:PersonName>小姐过去把他奶奶的国军身体搞垮,派一万河南老乡过去把他娘的经济搞乱,派一万领导干部过去把他</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>*</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>的国库折腾干!这年头,十类人不宜做大官:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>1</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>胆小,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>2</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>话多,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>3</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>钱少,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>4</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>关系差,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>5</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>酒量小,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>6</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>才华横溢,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>7</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>学历太高,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>8</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>疾恶如仇,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>9</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>性功能差,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>10</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>有姿色不肯献身。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?> 这年头,开展批评太难了:批评老婆她就乱跑,批评老公他就乱搞!批评上级就官位难保,批评同级就关系难搞,批评自己就自寻烦恼,批评下级就选票减少!</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>这年头,各级领导虽然都位高权重但对群众要求还是蛮关心的。凡男人求领导办事,领导都会热情地说:你怎么不提钱(前)来讲嘛!凡女人求领导办事,领导总是推托说:我很忙,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>日</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;>”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times mso-hansi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-family: ?Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA?>后再说!</SPAN></FONT></FONT></U></STRONG><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New Roman?; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA? mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;><FONT size=5> <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"></FONT><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"></SPAN></SPAN><br><br>[此帖子已被 颖河居士 在 2008-4-28 20:32:57 编辑过]

白雪迎春 发表于 2008-4-28 21:46

哈哈

关东女侠 发表于 2008-4-28 20:34

哈哈....

浪里白条100 发表于 2008-4-29 09:59

不错.哈哈哈!!!
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