汉鸭子 发表于 2007-3-18 14:58

范伟经典搞笑台词大集合

<P><FONT size=6>范伟经典搞笑台词大集合</FONT></P><P><STRONG><FONT color=#0909f7><FONT size=5>女士们<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、</SPAN>先生们：周末您开心吗？<BR>　　周末网络大搜索，发现范伟经典搞笑台词，范伟每次出场忽悠，你乐了吧？那么如果这个大忽悠的忽悠经典全上版了，你是不是乐翻天了？呵呵，与您共享快乐！<BR>　　<SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">1</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、人跟人的差距咋就这么大呢！</SPAN></FONT></FONT></STRONG><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">2</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、大哥，你要砸就砸我吧！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">3</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、这是病人与病人之间在探讨病情，你瞎掺和啥呀你！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">4</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、大哥，我真抽了！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">5</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、拐一年卖一年，缘分啊！吃一堑长一智，谢谢啊！横批是：自学成才！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">6</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、你这人怎么不按套路出牌？</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">7</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、忽海无涯，回头是岸。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">8</FONT></SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体"><FONT size=5>、小样我整不死你！<BR></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">　　9</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、一般人我不告诉他。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">10</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、忽悠，接着忽悠！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">11</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、苍天啊！大地啊！哪位天使大姐给我出的这口气啊！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">12</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">IC</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">IP</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">IQ</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">卡，统统告诉我密码！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">13</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、等</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">等会儿</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我要劫个色。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">14</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、你也不理我，我成狗不理了。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">15</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、啥也不说了，全在酒里边了。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">16</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、唉，就</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">就你觉得这个事儿有</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">有意思吗？</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">17</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、弃勺从教。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">18</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、戴功立罪。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">19</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、这个人站的高度不同，看问题的角度就是不一样！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">20</FONT></SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体"><FONT size=5>、愚昧，太愚昧，你老愚昧了！知道不？<BR></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">　　21</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、智商是什么东西，给</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">给我拿来！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">22</FONT></SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体"><FONT size=5>、婚姻是人的第二次投胎，你老舅我就没投好！<BR></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">　　23</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、一生就看一个女人是不科学的，容易看出病来。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">24</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、有钱男子汉，没钱汉子难啊！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">25</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、这孩子太有心眼了，赶</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">赶紧打个倒骑驴。这孩子哪能干这小本生意，人家得干大生意！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">26</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、好歹我也是个戴眼镜的，怎么能干这事呢？</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">27</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、得不到女同志的青睐，得到了都是伤害。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">28</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、我吃胡萝卜素，这老有营养了！刚才我不是没看见苹果吗？</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">29</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、这活挺霸道的啊？</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">30</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、论成败，人生豪迈，大</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">大不了</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">从头再</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">再来</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……<BR></FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">31</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、要想生活过得去，不怕身上背点绿。横批：忍者神龟！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">32</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、是你爸大还是城市大啊？</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">33</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、钱是王八蛋，没了再去赚！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">34</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、你们敬我一尺，我敬你们一丈，尊重他人人格，树立模范形象！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">35</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、高职不如高薪，高薪不如高寿，高寿不如高兴。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">36</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、上顿陪，下顿陪，终于陪出胃下垂</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……<BR></FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">37</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、自己的路，让前妻后悔去吧！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">38</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、咋地？我</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我就是</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">开元市维</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">维多利亚娱乐</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">广场总经理的保镖！</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><FONT size=5><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">39</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、床前明月光，粒粒皆辛苦；举头望明月，更上一层楼。</SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><SPAN><BR></SPAN><FONT size=5><FONT color=#0909f7><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">　　</SPAN><SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman">40</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、幸福就是：我饿了，看见别人手里拿个肉包子，他就比我幸福；我冷了，看见别人穿了一件厚棉袄，他就比我幸福；我想上茅房，就一个坑，你蹲那儿了，你就比我幸福。</SPAN><SPAN></SPAN></STRONG></FONT><BR></FONT><STRONG><FONT color=#0909f7><FONT size=5>　<BR></FONT></P></FONT></STRONG>

兴安北极熊 发表于 2007-3-18 16:05

周末网络大搜索，发现范伟经典搞笑台词，范伟每次出场忽悠，你乐了吧？那么如果这个大忽悠的忽悠经典全上版了，你是不是乐翻天了？呵呵，与您共享快乐！<br>

韶山风雨 发表于 2007-3-18 20:32

呵呵，与您共享快乐！<br><br>

白山龙 发表于 2007-3-18 21:14

最后一条有意思，我怎么不记得是在那说的了呢！

北方蛟龙 发表于 2007-3-19 08:50

你太有才了。

逸人 发表于 2007-3-19 17:13

原文由 夜航船 发表: 要想生活过得去，不怕身上背点绿。横批：忍者神龟！<BR>

夜航船 发表于 2007-3-19 12:30

要想生活过得去，不怕身上背点绿。横批：忍者神龟！<br>
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