[转贴]中 国 最 暴 笑 的 １５ 个 笑 话
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">1</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">一人在办公室老是放响屁，同事忍不住说：你能不能不出声？然后便见他坐在那</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">摇来晃去抖个不停，问：干什么？回答说：我调成振动的了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>2</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药处</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>3</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、某人第一次见到大海，感叹道：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">大海啊！母亲！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">话音刚落，一个浪头打过</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">来，正好打在他的脸上，此人怒道：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">“**</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">！还他</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">****</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">是个后妈！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>4</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、猴子拣到一个卡，于是爬到树枝上想看清楚是啥卡。不料一个雷击中了它，猴子</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">哭着说：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">原来是</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">‘IP’</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">（挨劈）卡呀！！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">” <BR>5</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、局长与科长共乘电梯，局长放一屁后对科长说：你放屁了！科长说：不是我放</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">的。不久科长被免职。局长在会上说：屁大的事你都担待不起，要你何用？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>6</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、在一家时装店，我看到一个等得不耐烦的青年人对一个漂亮女孩说：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">你介意和我</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">说几句话吗？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">女孩好奇地问：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">为什么？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">”“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">我妻子进这个店已经一个多小时了，但她</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">如果看见我和你说话，她会马上出来的</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">......”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">没等他说完，他妻子已快步走出时装</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">店，挽着他离开了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>7</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、某君开车内急</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">情急之下尿在空雪碧瓶里</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">趁堵车时奔下车想把瓶仍到垃圾桶里被</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">一敬职的巡警拦住</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">瓶里装的啥</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">喝剩的雪碧</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">那你喝一口给我看看！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>9</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、想你的感觉就想：炒菜没放盐；苹果不太甜；喝酒少了烟；逛街忘带钱。有空时</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">我会想你，没空时我会抽空想你，实在抽不出空我就</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">--</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">什么都不做了，光想你！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>10</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、儿子每晚要和妈妈睡。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">妈说：你长大了娶了媳妇也和妈睡呀？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">儿答</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">妈说：那你媳妇咋办？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">儿说：让她跟爸睡。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">爸听后激动的说：这孩子从小就懂事！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>11</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、食人族父子打猎，其子擒一瘦子，其父曰：放，没肉！其子又擒一胖子，其父</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">曰：放，太腻！其子又擒一美女，其父曰：带回家，晚上把你妈吃了！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>12</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、一条警犬看到马路上过来一条普通狗，就气势凶凶地跑去质问它：我是警犬，你是什么东西？普通狗不屑一顾地看看它说：蠢货，看清楚点，老子是便衣！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>13</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、男人有外遇之症状：公司天天加班，家务从来不沾，手机回家就关，短信回完就</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">删，上床呼噜震天，内裤经常反穿。对照检查符合三条属于疑似，四条可确诊。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>14</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、财政是爹，银行是娘，管土地的是霸王，工商税务两条狼。电老虎水阎王，公检</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">法是</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">****</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">。白衣天使黑心肠</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">***</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">，没法过了！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> <BR>15</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">、大熊猫生日，吹灭生日蜡烛后，朋友们问它，许了什么愿望。大熊猫回答说</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">我这辈子有</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue">2</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">个最大的愿望，一个是希望能把我的黑眼圈治好，还有一个</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">嘛！就是希望我也能照张彩色照片</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: blue"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <FONT size=5> 某医院一新护士工作热情高，一天当班，看见一老大爷座在凳子上身子慢慢地朝一边歪去，她一看见就赶紧上前去把老大爷扶正，一会儿，老大爷又慢慢地朝另一边歪去，她又赶过去把老大爷扶正。并笑着问老大爷：您对我们的工作还满意吗？老大爷答“都好，就是不让我放屁这点不好”。</FONT> 哇哈哈哈~~~！<br>哎呀~！牙掉了~！ <FONT color=#2bd54d size=5>哈哈哈哈哈哈哈...........</FONT> 笑死人了 原文由 疯花血月 发表: 哇哈哈哈~~~！<BR>哎呀~！牙掉了~！ <BR><P align=center><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200782994730176.gif"></P><BR><BR>
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