中国电视剧穿帮喷饭集锦
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 黑体">中国电视剧穿帮喷饭集锦<SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">《秦始皇》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 在本连续剧的一幕之中,李斯大人要被腰斩了。他非常从容地对儿子说:今后爹再也不能和你一起,牵着小黄狗在城门口散步了。刽子手举鬼头刀,砍。血的特写。镜头上移。天空,一架飞机掠过……</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《封神演义》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 在这部当年的大成本高科技神话片之中,我们不提它如何让宫里的礼节成为请安,也不说纣王提诗用毛笔,更不用说它在集市上摆出了西瓜和西红柿,还不用说摩礼红用的琵琶上有一个明显的商标,我们说主角。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 马氏:嫁给你这没本事的老东西真是委屈,连个面都不会卖。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 姜尚</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">(</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">严肃地</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">)</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">:古人云:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">天将降大任于斯人也,必先苦其心志,饿其体肤,劳其筋骨,困乏其身,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">这是上天给我的考验,我姜尚不会永远受穷的。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 先有春秋战国再有商朝?得,我吐个隔夜饭先。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《百色起义》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 革命者被逮捕,被带到一堵墙前集体屠杀。在他们呼喊着口号倒下后,背后的墙上露出几个大字:违章照拆,城宣委。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《小李飞刀》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 在酒楼上数个流氓调戏一美貌妇女,阿飞正好在座。于是拍案而起,拔剑出鞘流氓们依然不干不净地骂。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 胜负在一瞬间决定。流氓们倒地,有一个强自站立,说台词:好快的剑……然后倒地。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 阿飞傲视,然后收剑入鞘</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">--</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">第一遍没有插进去,第二遍又没有插进去,于是低头仔细对了半天</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">,</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">神气地把剑插回剑鞘。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《武则天》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 武士镬在叫小时侯的武则天</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">:</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">则天!则天!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《甘十九妹》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 伊剑平:不知天上宫阙,今夕是何年……</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 甘十九妹:月有阴晴圆缺,人有悲欢离合,唐人李白这首诗,真是千古绝唱苏东坡地下有知,不知道会惭愧蒙还是高兴蒙。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《金台奇侠传》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 金台:一天之内怎么到得了汴京?看来要施展</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">八步赶蝉</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">轻功了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 道路,金台施展轻功中。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 道路两边的东西飞速后退,树木,电线杆。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> ……</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 电线杆??</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 正在疑惑时又过去一根</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">...... <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《某古装片》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 可能是宋朝或是明朝,但肯定不是清朝,更不会是清朝末年。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 大侠在房内睡觉,醒来拿起样东西划一下把灯点亮。什么东西?仔细瞧了:火柴!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《戏说乾隆》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 开头最后一个镜头。乾隆从避暑山庄里走出来,镜头上拉</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">~</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">找牌匾</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 四个大字:避暑山庄</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 四个小字:江</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">**</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">题</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 《老水浒传》</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman"> 李逵带着两块肉进来</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">,</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">包肉的油纸摊开</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">,</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">上书四个大字</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">:</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">法制日报……</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P> </P><P><FONT color=#ff0000 size=6>还有更多的呢!</FONT></P> 原文由 安安6652 发表: <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200782518388522.gif"><FONT face=华文行楷 color=#3e8f3e size=4>有趣!!搞笑!!还有点无奈!!<BR></FONT> 这帮导演真是,谁都敢日弄! 我隔夜饭都笑出来了。 原文由 安安6652 发表: <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200782518388522.gif"><FONT face=华文行楷 color=#3e8f3e size=4>有趣!!搞笑!!还有点无奈!!<BR></FONT> <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200796141133125.jpg"><BR><BR>
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