[分享]老公、老婆斗智
<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913142151768.jpg"><BR><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-bidi-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">1、啃鸡爪</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-bidi-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">我和老婆都爱啃鸡爪,自叹啃的速度不如老婆,一次俩人边看电视边啃鸡爪,老婆双手各执一个,当我伸手向盘里最后一个时,老婆狠狠地瞪我一眼,</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体"> </SPAN> <P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913143228779.jpg"><BR>愿天下所有夫妻幸福美满!<BR></P><br><br>[此帖子已被 胡寒梅 在 2007-9-13 14:33:02 编辑过] <P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200791314308867.jpg"><BR><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">5、赛跑</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">周六晚上陪老婆买菜,因每次采购都得备足一星期所需,所以半小时后,俩人手里全是沉甸甸的袋子,加之天气较热,回家的路上已是汗流浃背。</SPAN></P> <P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200791314310184.jpg"><BR><BR></P><P style="BACKGROUND: #fcfff5; WORD-BREAK: break-all; LINE-HEIGHT: 21.75pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497"><FONT face=宋体>老婆突然说:<SPAN lang=EN-US>“</SPAN>老公啊,好象中午我们吃完饭后没涮碗哦?<SPAN lang=EN-US>” “</SPAN>啊?<SPAN lang=EN-US>” “</SPAN>这样好不好?我们比谁先到家,后到家的负责涮碗。<SPAN lang=EN-US>” “</SPAN>行啊。<SPAN lang=EN-US>” “</SPAN>但你比我跑得快,那我手里的东西让你拿着才算公平吧?<SPAN lang=EN-US>” “</SPAN>嗯。<SPAN lang=EN-US>”</SPAN>老婆手里的袋子全转移到我手里,待老婆一声开始,俩人撒腿就跑,虽然她两手空空但还没我快,才跑出<SPAN lang=EN-US>50</SPAN>米,老婆就在后面大叫:<SPAN lang=EN-US>“</SPAN>你慢点,等等我<SPAN lang=EN-US>…”</SPAN>哼哼,我才不傻呢,等你追上我,那还不得我涮碗啊?不但没停我反而加快脚步向前冲,终于先老婆到家。<SPAN lang=EN-US> <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913143147798.jpg"><BR><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">气喘吁吁地躺在沙发里洋洋得意的等老婆回来,可十分钟后还没见人影,想想不对啊,就是走回来也该到了。正纳闷着,老婆开门进来了,手里还拿着半筒冰淇淋,一脸坏笑道:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">我叫你等等还不听,本想告诉你,我记得中午是涮过碗的。</SPAN></P> <BR>、<IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913142721398.jpg"><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">3、字条</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">虽然是夫妻,但各自保留一小块私人空间,一日,发现自己的抽屉多了两根长发,便留下一张字条,上书</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">随便翻别人的抽屉是不对的。另,老婆,你掉头发了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">”<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">隔日发现里面多了张字条,上书</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">我没有随便翻,你存私房钱已被发现。另,老公,掉头发是营养不良的症状,用你的私房钱改善我们这两月的伙食吧。</SPAN><BR>原文由 胡寒梅 发表: 哈哈 <P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200791314297950.jpg"></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">4、深呼吸</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">老婆在单位受气回家后闷闷不乐,便教她做深呼吸以调节情绪,第一遍后问:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">好点没?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">老婆摇了摇头,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">那就再来一次,这次要记得用力呼吸。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">”<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">话没说完,自己放了一个闷屁,本以为不臭,接着陪老婆做深呼吸,但事与愿违,先老婆闻到臭味,暗叫不好,转身就往阳台走去,尚未到门口,背上已被拖鞋结实地砸中。结果以一堆好话加二斤鸡爪陪罪。</SPAN></P> <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913142319862.jpg"><BR><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #fcfff5; MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; WORD-BREAK: break-all; LINE-HEIGHT: 21.75pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">我讪讪道:<SPAN lang=EN-US>“</SPAN>老婆,吃多<SPAN lang=EN-US>……</SPAN>不怕胖啊<SPAN lang=EN-US>……”“XXX</SPAN>,我看你这礼拜是不想吃肉了!<SPAN lang=EN-US>”</SPAN>一句话砸得我头皮发麻,两腿发软,曾因无心说过老婆有点胖的话,被罚吃一星期青菜。<SPAN lang=EN-US> <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P> <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200791314247250.jpg"><BR><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #fcfff5; MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; WORD-BREAK: break-all; LINE-HEIGHT: 21.75pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">2、抽烟 多数女人都讨厌男人抽烟的习惯,老婆也不例外,先是良言相劝,后来偷藏放在家中的烟,最后竟以控制上网相威胁,晚上她躺在床上,我有意在床边象丢魂似得走来走去。<SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P> <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913142522247.jpg"><BR><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">老公,你干什么呐?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">” “</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">哦,没事,我转转,你先睡。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">” “</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">你老在我眼前转来转去的我怎么睡啊?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">” “</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">不转晕了我也睡不着咧。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">” “</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"">就知道你想抽烟,去阳台抽,别耽误我睡觉!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; COLOR: #045497">”<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007913142644343.jpg"><BR><BR>原文由 胡寒梅 发表: 哈哈 愿天下所有夫妻幸福美满!<br> <FONT color=#6809f7 size=6><STRONG>斗什么智嘛!是调情吧!</STRONG></FONT> 原文由 寒冬畅游 发表: <FONT color=#6809f7 size=6><STRONG>斗什么智嘛!是调情吧!</STRONG></FONT> <FONT color=#e61a42 size=6>哈哈,寒版有点厉害哦,你老婆太幸福了!</FONT> 原文由 胡寒梅 发表: 原文由 寒冬畅游 发表: <FONT color=#6809f7 size=6><STRONG>斗什么智嘛!是调情吧!</STRONG></FONT> <FONT color=#e61a42 size=6>哈哈,寒版有点厉害哦,你老婆太幸福了!</FONT> 原文由 江湖散人 发表: 原文由 胡寒梅 发表: 原文由 寒冬畅游 发表: <FONT color=#6809f7 size=6><STRONG>斗什么智嘛!是调情吧!</STRONG></FONT> <FONT color=#e61a42 size=6>哈哈,寒版有点厉害哦,你老婆太幸福了!</FONT> 应该叫夫妻情话。 你老婆太幸福了!<br> 原文由 启明 发表: 愿天下所有夫妻幸福美满!<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><STRONG>引用</STRONG>: <br><HR SIZE=1><br>原文由 <B>寒冬畅游</B> 发表: <FONT color=#6809f7 size=6><STRONG>斗什么智嘛!是调情吧!</STRONG></FONT> <br><HR SIZE=1></BLOCKQUOTE><FONT color=#e61a42 size=6>哈哈,寒版有点厉害哦,你老婆太幸福了!你连这都看出来了.</FONT><BR>
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