麦克雷 发表于 2007-9-24 23:38

[转贴]裸睡遇到了小偷后的结果

<P class=MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f7d3ae; MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 22.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 4" align=center><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">裸睡遇到了小偷后的结果</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 6pt 20.4pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align=left><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">这是个真实的小偷故事。有个小偷盗走了一个女孩的手机后,女孩打自己的手机,小偷接了。女孩说:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">我的卡里有很多通讯录,手机算我倒霉,我不要了,你能否把卡还给我?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">小偷说:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">这样吧,我可以把卡还给你,但你把充电器送给我怎么样?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">” <BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">女孩觉得这小偷很怪,想看看他的真面目,便答应了。于是,两人相约在华强北商业街见面。见面的时候,小偷说:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">充电器我不要了,因为我最近手头紧,把手机卖了,卡还给你吧。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">” <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">小偷能给女孩送来手机卡,这恐怕没人听过。女孩拿了卡后,转身就走,也懒得报警了。小偷却把她叫住了,而且用一种教授似的口吻说:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">小妹啊,你以后要出门要注意点哦,你那么不小心,没管好自己的手机,如果我不把你的手机拿走,也肯定给别人偷了,你的卡也找不回来了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">” <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">女孩突然想笑,但笑不出来。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"> <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">这就是深圳的小偷。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"> <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">如果是一个女子独自在家裸睡,被小偷入室偷盗时看到了。请猜想一下:一个裸睡女人碰到一个入室的男小偷,会产生哪几种后果?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"> <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">第一种后果是,小偷入门后,由于做贼心虚,没看到女人的裸体,偷了东西就溜。错过了一段大好的偷情艳遇。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"> <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">第二种后果是,小偷入室后,看了裸体女人,突然精神状态特别好,产生了审美情趣,废偷忘跑,左欣赏右欣赏,上审美下审美。正在这时,女人醒了,发现眼前有个陌生男人,吓得尖叫一声。这时,小偷赶紧捂住她的嘴,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">别叫,我是求财的,不劫色</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">。转身赶紧顺手牵羊拿了点东西就跑了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"> <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">第三种后果是,女人一听小偷是求财的,不劫色,心想,我来深圳就是来求财的,你还来求我的财,你算什么球啊?我宁愿你劫色也不要你劫财,现在物价这么贵,工资没提反降,我命有一条,财没多少。女人于是不叫了。看小偷拿了东西正想走,女人说,且慢,你能把东西还给我吗?小偷犹豫了一下,想到只有一个女人裸睡,不太害怕,便说:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">要不,你把身体给我,我把东西还给你怎样?</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">” <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">女人想了想,觉得奇怪,感觉这小偷莫名其妙,竟然要色不要钱了,她心里唠叨着:这年头,谁怕谁啊,你想要我,我还想要你呢!于是,女人跟小偷说:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">太快了,我不适应,你先把东西放着,明天我们在华强北见面,先喝杯咖啡聊聊天再说。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">小偷心里美美的,想到艳遇来了,听话地把东西放下,然后再进门抱拳作揖,唱了个肥喏:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">小妹,明天见,拜拜!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">” <BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">第二天早上,女孩匆忙去上班。中午,在华强北某咖啡屋里,女人说,既然你没偷我的东西了,我也不把你当小偷了,也许你是善良的小偷,我欣赏你的个性。小偷说,对不起,我昨晚从窗户爬走的时候,又顺便把你的东西带走了。女人说,啊?既然这样,你还来干什么?你走吧。于是,两人起身各走一边,突然,小偷把女人叫住,说:小妹啊,你那么不小心,在深圳这种地方你还敢一个人裸睡,还好你昨天碰到我,如果碰到别人,马上就要怀孕了。<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007924233821576.jpg"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>

西康山鹰 发表于 2007-9-24 23:58

<FONT size=6>哈哈!!好幽默~~!</FONT>

泽雅 发表于 2007-9-25 10:30

<FONT size=6>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <EM><FONT color=#d52b2b>也有善良的贼?!</FONT></EM></FONT>

兔宝宝 发表于 2007-9-25 10:00

大胆的贼!

永健 发表于 2007-9-25 15:12

<FONT size=5>麦克雷从哪里批发的这么好笑的笑话?是送我们的仲秋礼物?哈哈哈哈</FONT>

晓月清风 发表于 2007-9-25 16:02

<P><FONT color=#f70968 size=5>呵呵!!看来小偷的机会多多哟!</FONT></P><br><br>[此帖子已被 晓月清风 在 2007-9-25 16:05:04 编辑过]

仙海美人鱼 发表于 2007-9-26 13:51

迈克雷:你也想那入室的贼吧??恭喜恭喜哦!!

麦克雷 发表于 2007-9-26 15:40

原文由 翻江鼠 发表: <br><P><FONT face=宋体 size=5>小偷入室后,看了裸体女人,突然精神状态特别好,产生了审美情趣,废偷忘跑,左欣赏右欣赏,上审美下审美,醉了,老枪说酥油不醉人,这个小偷什么也没有吃喝,</FONT></P><P><FONT face=宋体 size=5><FONT color=#ff0066 size=6><STRONG>就醉了......</STRONG></FONT></FONT></P><P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007926151755898.jpg"><BR><BR></P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007926153844465.jpg"><BR><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007926153932643.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/200792615401208.jpg"><BR><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007926154032146.jpg"><BR><BR><BR>

麦克雷 发表于 2007-9-26 14:59

<P>原文由 仙海美人鱼 发表: 迈克雷:你也想那入室的贼吧??恭喜恭喜哦!!</P><P><FONT color=#ff0066 size=5>我我我。。。。。。。<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007926145915990.jpg"><BR><BR></FONT></P>

翻江鼠 发表于 2007-9-26 15:18

<P><FONT face=宋体 size=5>小偷入室后,看了裸体女人,突然精神状态特别好,产生了审美情趣,废偷忘跑,左欣赏右欣赏,上审美下审美,醉了,老枪说酥油不醉人,这个小偷什么也没有吃喝,就醉了......</FONT></P><P><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007926151755898.jpg"><BR><BR></P>
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