麦克雷 发表于 2007-10-22 21:14

[转贴]精典笑话短信

<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">精典笑话短信</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; COLOR: red"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">1.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">猪和狗是动物王国的狱卒,一日逮到一个叫短信的不速之客,将其囚禁,次日短信越狱,监狱长向狗追究责任,狗委屈的说:昨天俺休息,看短信的是猪!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">2.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">有老师闯红灯,交警拦住,老师说,拜托,我教课要迟到了。交警说,你是老师?谢天谢地,我等了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">20</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">年,把不再闯红灯写</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">100</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">遍!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">3.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">某人家养一猪,烦!遂弃之,数未果,然其知家之归路,数日驾车弃猪,傍晚致电,其夫曰:猪归否?妻曰:归矣!其夫大怒:让它接电话,我迷路了!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">4.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">一民工大便不通去医院检查,医生检查后给此人开了一个药方,民工到取药处一看,是一卷手纸,不解,医生说:以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">5.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">请你把桌子上放一个笔记本,然后把你的下巴放在笔记本上,好了,这就是送给你的礼物</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">------</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">笔记本垫脑!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">-</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">)而且是猪头牌的哦</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">`</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">6.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">白人妈妈在哺乳,也在哺乳的黑人妈妈经过,白人小孩大哭:妈妈,我也要喝巧克力口味的!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">7.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">一人去外地探亲,他到了那里后,发现地址忘带。于是他给妻子发了份电报:“知道你三姨家的地址吗?”几个小时后,他收到了回电:“知道。”</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">8.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">运动员投篮,连五次都没有投进,教练道:笨蛋!瞧我的!也投五次,仍不进。看见了吗?你刚才就是这样投的!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">9.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">某人在精神病院实习,忽一神经病患者手持一把菜刀向他追来,这人转头就跑,直到跑到一条死胡同,心想这下完了,那个病人说:给你刀,该你追我了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">j<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">10.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">学会观察男人:头发一边倒,混得比较好,头发往前趴,混得比较差,头发两边分,正在闹离婚,头发往后背,情人一大堆,头发根根站,不是领导就是坏蛋!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">11.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">某男</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">50</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">岁娶一女子为妻,婚后第二天,该女子披头散发,扶着墙艰难地走出了家门,口中说到:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">****</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">他</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">XX</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">的,他说有</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">30</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">年的积蓄,我还以为是钱呢!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">12.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">最新考古发现:唐朝诗人李白的妻子叫照香炉,女儿叫紫烟!有诗句做证:日照香炉生紫烟!</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">13.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">蚂蚁见大象在游泳,道:你上来!大象爬上来,蚂蚁看看说:下去吧!大象怒:你干什么?蚂蚁说:没啥,我泳裤丢了,看看是不是你穿了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p>&nbsp;<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071022211457811.gif"><BR><BR></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>

晓月清风 发表于 2007-10-23 02:16

原文由 麦克雷 发表: <FONT color=#1111ee><STRONG><FONT size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>有老师闯红灯,交警拦住,老师说,拜托,我教课要迟到了。交警说,你是老师?谢天谢地,我等了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">20</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>年,把不再闯红灯写</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">100</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>遍!<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071022211716615.jpg"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT><BR>……!有点意思!

兔宝宝 发表于 2007-10-22 21:32

<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071022213321583.jpg"><BR><BR>

麦克雷 发表于 2007-10-22 21:16

<FONT color=#1111ee><STRONG><FONT size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>有老师闯红灯,交警拦住,老师说,拜托,我教课要迟到了。交警说,你是老师?谢天谢地,我等了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">20</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>年,把不再闯红灯写</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">100</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>遍!<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071022211716615.jpg"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT>

大度英雄 发表于 2007-10-23 11:22

<P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?; New ?Times Times Roman?? mso-hansi-font-family:><FONT face=华文新魏>精典笑话!<BR></FONT><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071023112216324.gif"></SPAN></P><P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?; New ?Times Times Roman?? mso-hansi-font-family:><BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071023112259345.gif"><BR><BR><FONT face=华文新魏>再等!</FONT></SPAN></P><P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?; New ?Times Times Roman?? mso-hansi-font-family:><BR><BR>&nbsp;</P></SPAN>

鹰戈 发表于 2007-10-22 21:37

<P>原文由 麦克雷 发表: <FONT color=#1111ee><STRONG><FONT size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>有老师闯红灯,交警拦住,老师说,拜托,我教课要迟到了。交警说,你是老师?谢天谢地,我等了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">20</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>年,把不再闯红灯写</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">100</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>遍!<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071022211716615.jpg"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#ff0000 size=5>笑死人了!你弄到晨泳的幽默专区去算了,免得把人的笑神经弄瘫痪了</FONT></P>

麦克雷 发表于 2007-10-23 14:34

<FONT color=#f73809><FONT size=6><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?; New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Times Roman??>白人妈妈在哺乳,也在哺乳的黑人妈妈经过,白人小孩大哭:妈妈,我也要喝巧克力口味的!<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071023143512269.gif"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></FONT></FONT>

晓月清风 发表于 2007-10-23 15:26

原文由 麦克雷 发表: <FONT color=#f73809><FONT size=6><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>白人妈妈在哺乳,也在哺乳的黑人妈妈经过,白人小孩大哭:妈妈,我也要喝巧克力口味的!<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071023143512269.gif"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></FONT></FONT>

江湖散人 发表于 2007-10-23 19:10

原文由 鹰戈 发表: <br><P>原文由 麦克雷 发表: <FONT color=#1111ee><STRONG><FONT size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>有老师闯红灯,交警拦住,老师说,拜托,我教课要迟到了。交警说,你是老师?谢天谢地,我等了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">20</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>年,把不再闯红灯写</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">100</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>遍!<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071022211716615.jpg"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#ff0000 size=5>笑死人了!你弄到晨泳的幽默专区去算了,免得把人的笑神经弄瘫痪了,<STRONG><FONT size=6>真逗.</FONT></STRONG></FONT></P>

泽雅 发表于 2007-10-23 18:22

<P><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">3.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>某人家养一猪,烦!遂弃之,数未果,然其知家之归路,数日驾车弃猪,傍晚致电,其夫曰:猪归否?妻曰:归矣!其夫大怒:让它接电话,我迷路了!</SPAN></P><P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times><FONT size=6>&nbsp;&nbsp; <EM><FONT color=#e61a1a>其夫是个蠢猪!</FONT></EM></FONT></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
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