麦克雷 发表于 2007-11-11 10:50

[转贴]绝对暴笑超级师生问答

<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">绝对暴笑超级师生问答</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">学校开学点名,有一个班主任别出心裁,对学生说:“我念学号,你们自己报一下名字,这样大家就认识了,好不好?”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">001</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “报告老师,我姓焦,我叫焦配。”老师有点晕,问道:“这是谁给你取的?”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “我爹。” “你爹是干什么的?”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “开种猪厂的!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">002</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  一个女生站起来:“报告老师,我姓张,我叫张德开。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">003</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “报告老师,我是张德开的孪生弟弟,我叫张不开。” “这是谁给你们起的名?”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “是我爸,他是卖钳子的。”老师赶紧喝了口水。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">004</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “报告老师,我姓区(这个字念”欧”)我叫区夜(哦也),这是我妈给我取的名,她说生我的时候刚好打爆了一个电脑游戏。”老师的心脏有点不舒服了。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">005</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “报告老师,甘妮娘!” “你怎么骂人啊?!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “没有啊!老师,我是说我姓甘,叫甘妮酿,我老爸是造酒的。”老师吃了一片药。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">006</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “老师,我姓苟,叫苟不理。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “你老爸是开包子铺的吧?!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “老师,您真聪明!”老师已经有点站不稳了。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">007</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “我姓蒯(读快,发第三声)</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">叫蒯货。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “你别告诉我你老爸是开货栈的。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “老师,你可真老土了,我老爸是拉皮条的。”老师的嘴角已经渗出了血。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">008</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “老师,你去死!” “什么?你说什么?!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “我是说我姓倪,叫倪去寺。我老妈是个信佛的人,我的名字有意思吧?”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “有意思,有意思。”老师快哭出来了。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">009</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “老师,下回说。” “为什么要下回说,你现在就说!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “不是的啦!老师,我姓夏,叫夏汇烁,我老爸是个说评书的。”老师已经感到天旋地转了。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  ”</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">010</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">号!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “老师,我姓高,叫高完。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “我姓梅,叫梅良心。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “我姓吴,叫吴晴。”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  “我姓毛,叫毛蓉蓉。”…………</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-hansi-font-family: Times New Roman">  老师仰天长哮:“天啊,我碰上了一群什么学生啊!”老师口喷鲜血,倒地气绝</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">. <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007111110501409.gif"><BR><BR><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>

泽雅 发表于 2007-11-11 10:51

<FONT size=6>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <EM><FONT color=#ee1111>把老师气死了!</FONT></EM></FONT>

翻江鼠 发表于 2007-11-11 14:13

<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071111141245887.gif"><BR><BR>

海飞 发表于 2007-11-11 16:21

哈哈^_^

大度英雄 发表于 2007-11-11 20:23

<BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/20071111202246806.gif"><BR><BR>

麦克雷 发表于 2007-11-11 22:48

<FONT size=5><FONT color=#0000ff><FONT face=宋体>“报告老师,我姓焦,我叫焦配。”老师有点晕,问道:“这是谁给你取的?”</FONT><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></FONT><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=5><FONT color=#0000ff><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>  “我爹。” “你爹是干什么的?”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=5><FONT color=#0000ff><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>  “开种猪厂的!”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"> <BR><IMG src="/attachments/Upfiles/2007111122483496.gif"><BR><BR><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>

zhangty9898 发表于 2007-11-12 08:33

原文由 泽雅 发表: <FONT size=6>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <EM><FONT color=#ee1111>把老师气死了!</FONT></EM></FONT>
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