幽默与笑话
本帖最后由 嫩江一叶 于 2015-4-29 11:55 编辑 <br /><br /><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 26pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>笑话</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 26pt; COLOR: red"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">1</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>、某君开车内急</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>情急之下尿在空雪碧瓶里</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>趁堵车时奔下车想把瓶扔到垃圾桶里被一敬职的巡警拦住</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>瓶里装的啥</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>喝剩的雪碧</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>那你喝一口给我看看！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">2</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>、儿子每晚要和妈妈睡。妈说：你长大了娶了媳妇也和妈睡呀？儿答：嗯！妈说：那你媳妇咋办？</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>儿说：让她跟爸睡。爸听后激动的说：这孩子从小就懂事！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">3</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>、一条警犬看到马路上过来一条普通狗，就气势汹汹地跑去质问它：我是警犬，你是什么东西？普通狗不屑一顾地看看它说：蠢货，看清楚点，老子是便衣！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">4.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>小两口吵架从楼上扔一枕头，正巧一乞丐路过甚喜。片刻又有一被子飞下，乞丐狂喜。于是擦着眼泪对楼上喊：大兄弟，行行好，把那女的也扔下来吧！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">5.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>大哥，你别在摸了！你摸了上面摸下面，毛都让你摸掉了，这么嫩的皮，被你摸的都流水了！你让俺以后怎么卖？这桃都是新鲜的，您不买就算了！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">6.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>女记者问农场主疯牛病的由来，场主说我一天要挤十次奶，但牛一年只能</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">**</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>一回。记者不解；场主大声说：天天揉你乳房，一年作爱一次，你能不疯吗？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">7.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>教师在农村扫盲，让一农妇认被子两字，农妇想不起来，教师提示：睡觉时你身上是什么，农妇说是老公。老师哭笑不得：老公不在的时候呢？农妇：是村长。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">8.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>秀才新婚望着娘子裸体来了诗兴曰：“平原两小峰，山下一小坑，泉水日日涌，翠草四季青：。爹在隔壁听见忙曰：”儿呀，这真是块风水宝地，爹死了就埋在这儿了“。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">9.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>父子洗澡，子见父的</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">****</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>比自己的大，父说：你的是小三轮，我的是大奔驰。母听后说：还奔驰呢，上路就熄火。父说：那是在老路上，在新路上可厉害了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue">10.</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Roman?? New ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; Times>大象把大便排在了路中央，一只蚂蚁正好路过，它抬头望了望那云雾缭绕的顶峰不禁感叹道：呀拉嗦，这就是青藏高原！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: blue"> ?<BR><IMG onmousewheel="return yuzi_img(event,this)" style="ZOOM: 120%" src="/attachments/Upfiles/20083322193744.jpg" onload="javascript:if(this.width>body.clientHeight)this.width=body.clientHeight" border=0><BR><BR>您可真逗---</SPAN></P><FONT size=5>搞笑.</FONT> 好 原文由 寒江搏浪 发表: <FONT size=5>搞笑.</FONT> 原文由 寒江搏浪 发表: <FONT size=5>搞笑.</FONT> <FONT size=7>好玩，搞笑！</FONT>
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