[转]幽默：现代对联
本帖最后由 嫩江一叶 于 2015-4-29 11:53 编辑 <br /><br /><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 26pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>幽默：现代对联</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 26pt; COLOR: blue"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>★上联：风在刮，雨在下，我在等你回电话；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>下联：为你生，为你死，为你守候一辈子；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>横批：发错人了。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??> ★上联：看背影急煞千军万马；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>下联：转过头吓退百万雄师；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>横批：我的妈呀！</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??> ★上联：说你行你就行不行也得行；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>下联：你说不行就不行行也不行；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>横批：不服不行。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??> ★上联：为你痴为你累为你受尽所有罪；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>下联：为你死为你狂为你咣咣撞大墙；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>横批：为爱疯狂。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??> ★上联：我爱的人名花有主；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>下联：爱我的人惨不忍睹；</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></P><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times New Roman??>横批：命苦。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>有才
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